52 Things Every Father Should Teach His Son

In honor of the beautiful Spring Time weather, let’s talk about 52 things that every Father should teach his Son(s).

1) How to Throw a Ball

It breaks my heart to see little boys who don’t know how to throw a ball.

They stay INSIDE all the time eating potato chips and playing the newest video game system.

Put a baseball in their hands and they look like a Deer caught in some headlights.

NO boy should ever be caught DEAD throwing like a girl.

When I was a youngster we had a name for all the boys who threw like girls, and it wasn’t a nice name.

2) How to Throw a Punch

Our single mommy world is raising a bunch of little pussified BOYS who get Bullied (because they are bulliable).

You’ve heard the rallying cries of… “STOP THE BULLYING! STOP THE BULLYING!”

I say STOP raising twinks and all of THIS damn bullying will immediately STOP.

Each Father must teach his son how to throw a solid punch.

Bullies are cowards who pick on the weak, after a jab to the nose you can forget about bullies picking on you ever again.

3) How To Tie a Tie

If you don’t teach your Son how to tie a tie he is going to LEARN from the internet.

Is the internet a more BETTER father than you?

4) The Power of Willpower

Your MIND is your greatest asset and with it, and the right attitude, you can accomplish absolutely ANYTHING that you set your mind out to do.

Make the decision, do not waiver in the face of adversity, and you will reap the rewards of all of your EFFORT.

Give in to adversity and QUIT and you can EXPECT to be completely and totally AVERAGE.

5) Never Give Women Power Over You

When women have the upper hand they will use it to your peril.

It is ONLY when you hold your rightful power that women respect you.

It is usually the case that men who give women power, who try and do EVERYTHING to please women, who would never dream of arguing or abusing a woman…

those are the “poor men” who get the police called on them for “abuse”.

6) How to Build a Bookshelf

NOT knowing how to use a hammer, nails, or screwdriver would be HIGHLY embarrassing later in life when little Johnny has to have his nagging wife FIX everything in the house.

7) Discrimination is GOOD

Disregard the media baloney about discrimination being BAD.

Discrimination is how you survive and prosper.

You see a girl in a bar dressed like a slut, you can be SURE that she IS definitely, 100% of the time, ALL THE TIME a slut.

You see a group of blacks with their pants around their mid-thighs you can be SURE that you don’t want anything to do with them.

You see a group of Mexicans gathered around the Home Depot… you can be SURE that they are ALWAYS 100% of the time… EVERY SINGLE TIME… illegal immigrants.

8) It’s NOT OK to Ever Be a Sissy

ONLY single mommy’s and weak daddies raise sissies.

A strong father will NOT ever raise a weak child, he will teach his child the importance of stoic strength.

He will teach him the importance of a “Yes, I can!” attitude.

9) Trust is Earned, NOT Given

Treat everyone with respect but never let your guard down.

People in this world are out to eat the weak and if you show ANY vulnerability at all the Hyenas will feast all over you.

10) The Importance of Hard Work

The years of 15-21 will mark you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, it is imperative that you get in some hard work so you can develop the habit of NOT being a lazy slob.

That can mean athletics, yard work, farm work, WORK in the family business, or even just some plain old school work.

11) The Importance of Physical Fitness

Keeping your body lean and mean shows PRIDE in yourself and your abilities.

Letting yourself go is a sign of weakness, depression, and high estrogen and low testosterone.

12) Don’t Believe Her When She Says She is on the Pill

A.P.O.E. (Always pull out early).

13) How to Swim

I was at Maya Beach, a small island in Thailand (famous for the movie The Beach) and I saw the most embarrassing sight of my life.

There are two ways to get to Maya beach: The front way and the back way.

If you go the front way you have to pay, so we had our banana boat driver take us the back way so we could get in for free.

At the back door of Maya beach you have to park the boat in the water, jump in the ocean, and swim to the edge of the island where you climb up a rope and then up some stairs.

As we were leaving we saw some truly horrific sights.

One guy COULD NOT SWIM EVEN WHILE WEARING A LIFE JACKET.

He was being pulled through the ocean by a tiny little Thai man who was not wearing a life jacket.

The guy in the life jacket was being dragged like a little baby by a guy half his size who was not even wearing a life jacket.

That man’s father failed BIG TIME.

The guy looked at me, we made eye-contact and he just shrugged like “what can you do?“.

The embarrassment does not END there.

The guy had a buddy WHO ALSO COULD NOT SWIM EVEN WHILE WEARING A LIFE JACKET and was being pulled by ANOTHER little Thai man.

14) Competition is GREAT

If you play, you play to WIN.

2nd place is always the first LOSER.

15) Opportunity is EVERYWHERE

You MUST learn to keep your eyes and ears OPEN and ready to take advantage of OPPORTUNITY.

As a man you do NOT wait for opportunity to present itself to you, you MUST seek it out.

16) Know Who You Are

You will live amongst other races who covet the things you have, NEVER forget that and NEVER ever let your guard down.

17) Always Give 110%

If you are going to do something, then you MUST do it right.

NEVER give LESS than your BEST.

Your aim for perfection is what separates you from the animals of society.

18) Your Word is Special

If you say you will do something, then it is a MUST that you follow through.

Never, ever be known as a liar or as a flake.

Your reputation is special and must ALWAYS be kept in-tact.

19) How to Make Money on Your Own

Working for others to make them RICH and you a pittance is exactly what slaves do.

Making money on your own terms is how you do for yourself.

20) Boys is Boys and Girls is Girls

..and NEVER the tween shall meet.

Sex is NOT a social construct, it is 100% biological.

If you don’t listen to yourself AND your body you are going to grow up to be very ANGRY and confused.

It is ONLY when you know who you are and what you stand for that you will ever become very comfortable with yourself.

21) Excuses are Absolutely Useless

Excuses are for the downright useless and the pathetic WEAK who cannot do what they SAID they would do.

ALWAYS do as you SAY you WILL do… and NEVER give excuses as to WHY you did NOT do something.

22) Excessive Apologies are for Beta Pussies 

Never, ever apologize unless you have done something terribly WRONG.

Never end phone calls with “sorry”, never pepper your conversation with “sorry” and never BE sorry unless you truly absolutely MUST be.

If it wasn’t your fault, then do NOT say sorry.

If it wasn’t a heinous crime, then don’t NEVER ever say sorry.

23) Girls

Girls will respond to you being a boy.

They will NOT respond to you trying to “bond with them” and have things in “common” with them.

The further away from their femininity you are the more they will be ATTRACTED to you.

Tease them, play with them, treat them like a little sister and you will NOT have any (or many) “girl problems”.

24) The Importance of Athletics

Sports will teach you discipline and competition and they will give you pride of accomplishment.

Sports will develop your body at the point in time it is most essential to develop your body – your teenage years.

25) Be Bold

Bold action is required to reap the rewards of life.

Timidity is good for NOTHING.

If you want something you go after it and you TAKE IT.

You don’t ask for permission to fulfill your goals, you don’t apologize for your goals, you don’t make excuses for your goals, and you don’t give a damn about being “modest” in the face of LOSERS.

26) Discipline is a MUST

You must be disciplined enough to keep your hair trimmed and clean, you must bathe VERY regularly, you MUST wear clean clothes daily. 

You must NOT ever dress like a slob, and you MUST keep yourself in TOP physical condition.

27) Hedonism is for the Weak

The world you are brought into is a degenerate, nihilistic, and hedonistic den of sin.

Most of those you see did NOT have the same benefits you had (a FATHER who taught you about life).

Pity them, but do NOT join them in their quest for self-destruction.

28) Treat Animals With Firm Kindness

You will NEVER  have a better friend in your WHOLE LIFE than your puppy dog.

Be GOOD to your pets… because they will be GOOD to you.

Remember, son, you have friends and family and the whole world, your dog ONLY has you.

A firm swat to your dogs behind is enough discipline, but you must NEVER take out your frustrations on a poor helpless animal.

29) Think BIG!

Small dreams are worthless.

Think BIG and get BIG results.

Aim high, and ALWAYS go for the gold.

30) You Are a Born Leader

Always lead by example and strive for the BEST.

31) A Higher Power

There is more to life than we know or will ever know.

NEVER “think” that you know EVERYTHING about everything.

There is something more at work and we won’t know what it is until we die.

Atheism is a form of nihilism.

If there’s NO God then we can just do whatever we want and NOT worry about any consequences.

Son, that’s good enough for them but your life has a PURPOSE.

32) Save Money

Spending your money on the latest gadgets and doo-dads and NOT saving anything for a rainy day is downright STUPID.

You will ALWAYS need a backup fund for a rainy day or for an investment opportunity.

The Richest Man in Babylon is good bed-time reading.

33) Don’t Talk SO MUCH

No one needs to know your plans except for you.

Keep a lid on the motor-mouthing.

34) How to Properly Shake Hands

A firm handshake says the world about you.

A limp handshake says the EXACT opposite.

35) Embrace the Future but Do Not Give Up Tradition

The future will bring some fantastic advancements but NEVER clown on your race, your races tradition and values.

That’s part of who you are and it is to be embraced.

36) How to Shave

The internet should NOT be a guide to life.

Every son should learn how to shave from his father.

37) How to Shoot A Gun

Every man should know how to shoot a gun.

Especially with the world delving into chaos.  

If you shoot an animal for sport, definitely be sure to ALWAYS eat the meat.

38) Don’t Bully or Harm But Always Fight Back

Never, ever let someone slap you around or have their way with you.

You DON’T start fights but you sure as hell finish them if needed.

39) The Word “No” Gives You ALL the Power

Never be afraid to say NO.

“No” is the most powerful word you can ever say.

40) How to Go Camping

Son, this is how you set up a tent, this is how you build a campfire, and THIS is how you grill meat and beans outdoors.

The cooler is for ice, water and beer.

41) How to Fish

Fishing is a fun and relaxing past-time and comes with a GREAT benefit: fresh, delicious fish to eat.

42) How to Change the Oil in Your Car / How to Change a Tire

It’s OK to take the car to a pro to get the oil changed but some day you may be strapped for cash and NEED to save every single penny.

Some day you may be on the highway far from anywhere when a tire blows, you will NEED to know how to put on a spare tire and NOT have to rely on mechanical support.

Paying someone to change your tire is just a waste of money.

43) Take Road Trips

You should take road trips as often as you can.

You will see parts of the country you would have NEVER seen otherwise and road trips will be some of the fondest memories you will ever have.

44) Go to Barbers

A Barber is trained to cut men’s hair.

A hair stylist is trained to cut women’s hair.

Always look for the red and white Barber’s pole to find a Barber.

45) How to Cook

If you don’t know how to cook you will be ONE of two things: Fat or Skinny.

It is imperative to know how to cook steak, eggs, chicken, pork, bacon, and fish.

Those foods should be your staple foods and you can add things like potatoes, vegetables, rice, and other foods that require cooking.

Fast food equals fast FAT on your belly.

46) How to Lift Weights and Do Push-ups

Learning proper from from a seasoned pro is better than learning from the damn internet.

47) Always Ask for What You Want

If the waiter brings you the wrong food TELL THEM.

If the cook made your order wrong TELL THEM.

NEVER be shy to GET what you PAID FOR.

If your woman asks you what you want for dinner, you should ALWAYS answer.

You never say “oh, I dunno…what do you want…“.

48) Don’t Be Afraid to Negotiate

You will want to get the BEST possible price on the cars and houses you buy.

NEVER pay the asking price (unless it’s a steal) and ALWAYS try to negotiate the BEST possible price.

Always pay CASH money.

An offer with cash in hand is often irresistible.

49) Political Correctness is How the Weak Gain Strength

Always understand what political correctness is based on: LIES.

People are NOT all the SAME.

Black is NOT white.

Woman is NOT man.

Gay is NOT straight.

50) Travel as Often as You Can

Travel does NOT inherently make you a better person but it gives you life experience and a CHANCE to see how the rest of the world lives.

It will give you stories to tell for MANY years to come.

51) Never Tie Yourself Down

Don’t tie yourself down with an un-affordable mortgage, don’t tie yourself down with a JOB making others richer, NEVER tie yourself down with immense credit card or student loan debt.

If you CAN’T pay with cash, then WAIT and SAVE UP until you can.

52) Always Keep a Positive Mental Attitude

Remember, son, whether you think you CAN or think you CAN’T you are right.

Until next time.

Your man,

-Elijah “The Realist”