[This is part 2 of a two-part series on how to be a more dominant man.
Part 1 shows you have to have the mindset of a dominant man.]
Two types of social dominance.
Social dominance can be understood in one of two ways – dominating OTHERS or NOT ever being dominated.
I tend to think of dominance as the latter, that is, to be able to do my very own thing.
If you want to become a CEO, then read your 48 Laws of Power.
I am NOT particularly interested in dominating OTHERS in the 48 Laws of Power understanding of the term because leadership is REALLY downright slavery.
Let’s say I wanted to increase the audience for Frauds and Liars.
I could build a huge audience if I simply changed my tone or only talked about certain kinda topics.
I could tell normal people that they are actually totally GREAT instead of telling them to VERY simply go away.
It would come at a great personal cost to my soul.
I would have to water down my message.
I would be a slave to whiners and complainers, asking before publishing each post:
“What if I offend someone?”
I’d definitely need to be politically correct and I’d need to tolerate the weakness that exists in the majority of today’s men.
I most certainly will not.
Frauds and Liars is my soul and I will NEVER ever pollute it to become a leader of pathetic losers and other space-taker-uppers.
I seek to be dominant in the sense that OTHER people leave me alone… and let me simply go about my business in peace.
When I’m in groups, my wishes are respected and criminals KNOW better than to mess with me.
There is substantial overlap, however, and if you can go WITHOUT being dominated then chances are you will find that you are often the leader of the group.
Even a total loner can develop some good freaking charisma.
Rule 1. Eye contact (and put your damned iPhone in your pocket unless you want to look just like a victim).
Respect the power of eye contact.
If you have some solid eye contact game, you have met the 80/20 rule.
Eighty percent of your SUCCESS with other people will be met by taking the 20% move of making and holding eye contact.
If you have VERY poor eye contact, then literally NOTHING else on this list even matters.
Eyes are the gateway to the soul.
If you look down at the ground like a servant, you have revealed yourself as a simple slave who does NOT look up at his master.
It also makes you LOOK just like a flat out victim.
The other day a fine urban youth living in Section 8 housing was standing in the middle of the street.
I saw a girl on the corner, another fine lady, and could sense what was about to transpire.
This fine fellow started to move diagonally towards me.
I looked him in the eyes and simply smirked.
With a look, I communicated that I instantly welcomed his affections.
He stopped, looked down, and shuffled his feet back to where he was standing.
Had I looked down at the ground, I may have ended up like poor little Matt Yglesias, a self-hating liberal who was a victim of the Knockout Game.
The TRUTH is that I wish he had come closer.
I would have thrown a brutal overhand right once he was within distance and reminded him that NOT all men of my socioeconomic status walk the streets in fear.
When you meet someone, look them in the eyes.
Hold your gaze for 1-3 seconds, long enough to register that you’ve looked them in the eyes but NOT long enough to look just like a total creep.
Exception: There’s ONE notable exception to eye contact and the streets.
If some REALLY criminal type looks you in the eye and mean mugs YOU and it looks like you MIGHT have to get into a fight, you should STILL not look down.
Instead, keep your chin up and look to the side.
This allows the goon to save face (you’re NOT directly challenging him by holding eye contact) while also suggesting to him that he seek out a MUCH weaker target (since you did NOT look down showing him that you’re weak and thus someone to possibly victimize).
That’s how you diffuse a potentially hostile situation WITHOUT looking just like a punk.
He saves face.
You save face AND don’t look just like a victim.
Rule 2. Stop smiling so much, you goofs.
Girls always say that I need to smile more.
Well if girls think I am so ugly with my Mr. Frowny Face, why are they ALWAYS talking to me and grabbing my arms and telling me how great my back feels whenever they hug me?
I smile when around my god daughters and my dog.
Otherwise, I don’t see any need to actually smile just like some ugly dumb goof.
Rule 3. Show respect. Do NOT ever tolerate disrespect.
He is the nicest guy ever. Just don’t ever piss him off. – Friend of Frauds & Liars
Civilization is a remarkable creation and we should definitely respect it.
Treat others with the utmost decency.
Treat every single person who you meet with respect.
However, some people will mistake your respect for some actual REAL weakness.
It is important to let people absolutely KNOW that your kindness is certainly NOT weakness.
If someone ever disrespects you (especially in that modern, passive-aggressive way), then you should definitely and immediately call them out on it.
Ask them what their actual problem is.
Tell them IF they have a problem with YOU, then they need to be an actual man and explain WHAT exactly their problem is and that you’ll be a man and work it out with them.
You can certainly call people out respectfully.
For example:
Bro, I’m not sure what you’re getting at here.
Maybe if you spell out your position then we’ll find out that we have more in common than you think.
But I need to know what you really mean before we can figure these things out.
So…What exactly did you mean by that comment?
Give everyone a fair chance to prove that they are REALLY actually decent.
If they are disrespectful, then there definitely SHOULD be a problem.
Treat people with respect and do NOT ever tolerate disrespect and you’ll be absolutely amazed how you develop some REAL actual solid social dominance.
People will learn that you’re the man to see when they want to confide in SOMEONE and that they should stay out of your way when they are being shady.
Passive aggressive people will no longer be around you, because they will KNOW that you’ll instantly call them out.
Passive aggressive people absolute HATE being called out.
Shine your light on the cock roaches and rats so that they will immediately & VERY quickly scurry far away from you.
Rule 4. Always Be nice.
All you have to do is follow three simple rules.
One, never underestimate your opponent.
Expect the unexpected.
Two, take it outside.
Never start anything inside the bar unless it’s absolutely necessary.
And three, ALWAYS be nice.
Some of you might wonder what being polite has to do with becoming more dominant.
That is because dominance has been given a bad name by reality TV shows just like Jersey Shore.
Running around just like a drunk idiot definitely does NOT establish ANY kind of dominance.
Being a flat out rude idiot simply tells the world that YOU lack self-respect and class.
When you get too close to men like me, only VERY BAD THINGS is likely to actually happen.
Think about Hollywood leading men that are actually worth emulating.
All are ALWAYS well mannered.
Can you imagine James Bond or the Most Interesting Man in the World being rude to a waitress?
Idiots from Jersey Shore definitely aren’t dominant.
They are only a slave to their emotions.
Jackals who walk slowly through crosswalks to show how “thug” and “street” they are, definitely aren’t dominant men.
They are simply cowards who have to travel in wolf packs, and who whenever you manage to get alone, become outright terrified.
Being nice and having good manners shows that you have some self-restraint, in other words, that you have some REAL actual control over yourself.
Rule 5. Get Big. Be dangerous and funny. Learn a martial art.
Size is status.
We are great apes.
Never forget that.
Become a vanilla gorilla.
People will VERY instantly move out of your way.
People will ALWAYS be extremely polite to you.
People will assume you’re a man of violence and treat you accordingly.
When you have size and strength and also KNOW how to box or use Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, then you REALLY are a force of nature.
Some of the absolute toughest men I know are also very friendly and somewhat playful, even.
There is absolutely NO insecurity or fear because there is knowledge that whenever things pop off, they are prepared.
When you’re a gorilla yet also polite and respectful, you’ll be totally shocked at how quickly people warm up to you.
You are like the pit bull at the dog park that EVERYONE is apprehensive of… but when you’re a little playful people love twice as much as they would otherwise.
Rule 6. Always move with a purpose.
People sometimes tell me that I walk fast.
I don’t walk fast.
I just don’t ever walk aimlessly.
Do NOT shuffle your feet like some aimless sloth.
If you have somewhere to be, then you should immediately get there.
If you DON’T have anywhere to be, then simply lounge around.
Rule 6. Lounge.
Don’t stand when you can sit.
Don’t sit when you can lie down.
Don’t lie down when you can VERY easily sleep.
When you’re NOT moving with a purpose, then simply lounge around.
Spread out like a lion in the Desert.
Rest.
Let your body heal.
Being an alpha male is REALLY hard work.
Rule 7. Wear skull rings.
Skull rings are not merely corny PUA accessories.
They are legal brass knuckles.
If you KNOW that you’re going into some kinda shady area… then you should ALWAYS “suit up.”
Rule 8. Give your balls some major room to breath.
In the jungle, space is status.
If you occupy more space, then you actually HAVE more status.
One easy way to remember to occupy more space is to ask if your balls are being crushed.
That means your legs are too close together and that you aren’t occupying enough space.
Rule 9. Check your testosterone levels.
Every study on evolutionary psychology has correlated testosterone levels with dominance.
Every single study.
It’s not even arguable that testosterone is the ULTIMATE dominance hormone.
What is your testosterone level?
Could testosterone replacement therapy possibly help?
Until next time.
Your man,
-Elijah “The Realist”
