A key part of Holding Frame when having a conversation with a girl, is commanding her attention.
If you stammer, constantly look away and seem unsure of yourself, it’s a surefire way to immediately lose her attention.
Here’s 5 tips that I use when commanding a girl’s attention.
#5. Double Question
Have you ever asked someone a question and they acted like, or simply didn’t hear you?
What did you do?
Did you ask the question again, or did you just look away and wait for them to re-start the conversation?
A technique I use when talking with ANYONE for that matter, is to double talk.
What I mean is if I ask a question and they ignore it, try to change the conversation or brush it off with a half-ass comment, I ask it again.
This will help you control the conversation and help you steer it in the direction that YOU want it to go.
Most people if ignored, will slink away.
Don’t be MOST people.
Be dominating.
Ask twice and ALWAYS be heard.
#4. Don’t Be Afraid Of Eye Contact
Eye contact is incredibly important in the seduction of women.
Strong eye contact establishes that you are an alpha male who doesn’t flinch at a pretty girl.
One bad habit I notice with MANY newbies is that they tend to look EVERYWHERE, but at the real-life actual girl.
Don’t be afraid to look into the girl’s eyes and CONNECT.
Connecting with her eyes will do more for your game than the MOST fanciest and smoothest ‘line’ you can come up with.
Note: this also doesn’t mean to stare at a girl like a weirdo.
Here’s an idea of what I mean:
You spot a cute girl at the bar and make eye contact.
Hold it until she looks away.
When you approach and introduce yourself, maintain eye contact through the introduction and then immediately scan the room.
Don’t just stare into her eyes for the whole ENTIRE conversation, that’s weird and will come across as too intense, but maintain eye contact for a few seconds at a time and then immediately look away.
Pro-Tip: Look UP and AWAY.
Don’t divert your eyes down.
Looking down communicates submission and weakness.
#3. Speak To Be Heard
Another key tip is speak to be heard and ALWAYS speak clearly.
Don’t be a mumbler.
Imagine you’re sitting at a conference table with an ENTIRE group of businessmen and Donald Trump just asked your opinion on the subject matter.
Would you speak softly, or would you speak up with some REAL actual authority?
Men who KNOW what they have to say is important, speak to be heard.
Pro-Tip: In nightclubs, bars, lounges and parties, don’t be afraid to get your voice level up.
It’ll be at the right level with the music blaring anyway.
#2. Get Physical
If you’re talking with a girl at the bar and you can’t hear her (more than likely this will happen), then say, “I can’t hear you, come closer”, and gently pull her close to you by her waist.
While this is a ‘request’, it’s actually not, because you were assertive enough to grab her waist and pull her in closer to you.
I’ve used this probably over a thousand times and it always works.
It’s natural for someone to get closer to another if they can’t be heard, so it’s NOT a move that will be looked down upon.
Do it smoothly, casually and she’ll play along with it.
Another way to do this, if the noise levels are too loud, is that I will move a girl’s hair away from her face and whisper into her ear.
Let me tell you something: girl’s LOVE to have their hair gently moved away from their face, and it’s a great way to say, “Let’s get out of here” as well.
#1. Use Silence
One of the MOST powerful tools you can use to get a girl’s real attention when speaking with her is silence.
If she says something completely off the wall, or makes a rude comment and then stares at you waiting for your response, simply say NOTHING and just look at her.
The anticipation of what she THINKS you might say, is MORE powerful then saying SOMETHING.
Note that you’re NOT giving her a dumb look as though you’re speechless, it’s more of a smug ‘thought to yourself’ look.
Imagine SOMETHING about her and then simply just DON’T say it.
She’ll see it in your eyes.
When done properly it commands attention and can be ‘deafening’.
Until next time.
Your man,
-Elijah “The Realist”
P.S From Fitness to Fucking, get the ultimate guide for men here.
