There’s a lot of BS first date do’s and don’ts lists floating around on the web, namely on major sites like Yahoo.
These lists are written by women for men, which as we know is the furthest thing from reality.
“Make sure you guys are funny, bring flowers and pick up the check, okay?” (insert hysterical laughter).
Thus, it’s times for me to drop some straight G wisdom on EXACTLY what to do on a first date.
This is tried and tested and most importantly, true.
Here’s 5 of my First Date Do’s Step-by-Step.
#5. Wait For Her To Get There First, BEFORE You Walk In
Ah the games we play gentlemen, but nothing screams pathetic like getting to the date 20 minutes early and then checking the door every 5 minutes to see if she’s walking in.
Most importantly you will psych YOURSELF out like a motherfucker if you’re that strung out about the date.
Here’s what you do step-by-step.
-Wait in your car or down the street at another bar or lounge.
-Read my articles on your phone as you wait (will help keep you grounded)
-Let’s say the date is at 9pm at a sexy lounge.
Wait until she texts you saying “I’m here”, BEFORE you walk in.
Wait 1 minute, then text her “walking in”, then take your time walking over to the lounge.
Saunter in like you have the world’s largest cock, take in the joint, then walk up and give her a casual, but sexual hug.
Be cool, calm and collected.
She waited on you, albeit maybe 4-5 minutes.
What this accomplished is 10 fold: the script has been flipped and now SHE was the one checking the door eagerly waiting on your arrival.
It also shows that you weren’t an Eager Beaver, which we know is the worst thing to be besides a Thirsty Theodore.
You’ve now established that you’re a busy guy, you’re used going on dates with pretty girls because you weren’t chomping at the bit to see her and most importantly you move at YOUR own pace.
All attractive qualities to a girl.
Now doesn’t that beat playing Angry Birds at the bar for half an hour waiting on her ass to arrive?
Hell to the motherfucking yes it does.
Ah yes, before I forget, to those Time Sticklers (and I am too regarding BUSINESS meetings) who choked on their bagel when they read this, my advice is to take a chill pill and relax:
it’s a casual date, not a meeting with the President.
#4. Prep For The Night
Just like you would if you’re rolling out solo following my 11 Step Prep For A Night Out.
The more you’re ‘ON’, the better for the date to go well (i.e. you guys wind up naked in your sheets) and you’ll be more confident and feel good.
Don’t rock dirty clothes and forget to shower.
Sure, I know the old thing about NOT showering and going on dates and the chick smelling your pheromones or some shit, but do you really want to walk around dirty?
Keep it fresh, keep it fly and dress like a boss.
Another quick tip is to spout some affirmations when you’re driving to meet her.
Get your confidence sky high so when you walk in the joint every eye will be on YOU and your presence will be felt from the jump.
She’ll see that and half the workf will be done.
The more you develop yourself to be ‘ON’ all the time because it’s what you actually BECOME, the easier it is to get these fly girls ready to go.
Try it and see the difference young stud.
#3. Pay Cash
I’ll tell you a very embarrassing story from when I was 18 or 19.
Can’t remember the exact age since that was OVER a decade ago ha.
So I’m out with my girlfriend, I thought she was a 9 at the time, but looking back I was lucky if she was a 7.
Anyways, I’m out with her and her dad, a big burly farmer dude.
We’re at a steakhouse and when the bill came, I thought I’d be a ‘boss’ and smoothly pay for the meal as a surprise to her dad.
Yea, well I paid with a debit card.
“Excuse me sir, your card was declined”.
The waitress looking like a damn vulture her bug eyes staring at me over her cheap-ass glasses.
Gulp.
“Ah you must be mistaken, there’s over $3,000 in that account. Can you try it again?”
(There WAS enough to cover the bill, but nowhere near $3,000. More like $400 at best).
My girlfriend kicked me under the table and if looks could kill you’d be reading another dating blog right now.
Her dad coughed uncomfortably and I saw my ‘future’ with his precious daughter slipping away.
Kind of like her anal virginity, a jar of Vaseline and a chafed cock the first night we met.
Oops.
“Nope. It didn’t work. How are you going to pay for this meal SIR?!”
The vulture was back.
This fucking bitch.
“I got it, it’s fine”, her big burly farmer dad handed her CASH.
Like a boss.
I shriveled off with a weak excuse about needing to use the bathroom.
Point is, pay cash through the entire night.
Go to an ATM, withdraw what you think you’ll need and don’t leave anything to chance.
To this day I don’t know why my card was declined because there was enough to cover the bill at least, but do you think her dad would believe that?
Not a chance.
Bring cash gents.
Case closed.
#2. Pick A Date Spot Based On Logistics
Nothing else matters as much as good logistics when it comes to first dates.
Don’t pick a sexy lounge 30 minutes away from you, unless you simply live that far out from everything.
Get spots On-Lock that are within 5 minutes of your pad and always use those if possible.
Not only will you save money on dates because you’ll have them locked down, but being close will help you like you have no idea when it comes time to bring her home and have some fun consensual adult fun.
Another tip on this subject, is always try to pick ‘sexier’ spots over more general.
i.e. a dark bar over a loud bright sports bar.
No one is getting turned on over a basket of hot wings and the latest UFC fight.
Keep your objective in mind.
Although those wings do sound fucking good right about now…
#1. Schedule Dates For When The Vampires Come Out
Wait what?
The vampires are a joke, but scheduling dates for later hours is NOT a joke.
Don’t be scheduling a date for 6pm for Happy Hour and then wondering why you’re not taking her home.
My simple rule is I rarely schedule for before 9pm.
It’s usually 9:30p-10sh depending on the night.
This is for a few reasons I have listed below.
-The night is more sexual.
Give people time to go home after work, chill out and then prepare for Stage 2 of the day.
No rushing around in traffic to make a 7pm date at Applebee’s.
-It makes it easier to close because if you’re out with her for say 3 hours, it’s now around midnight.
Perfect time to roll home on a weeknight.
Weekends you might want to push it even later depending on where you live and what there is to do.
Out here on the West Coast it’s not unusual to meet a chick at 10pm for some sushi and sake.
-The #1 reason is so that she won’t double book.
She might double book anyway, but if you schedule for say 7pm, then I can almost guarantee she’ll set up plans for that night “just in case”.
What will happen is she’ll be eager for anything to go wrong so she can go fulfill her social ‘responsibilities’ as an unknown socialite.
Book that bitch’s night.
No seconds and no appetizers to her main dish for the night.
Alright, gents, I have more, but that’s all for now
Until next time.
Your man,
-Elijah “The Realist”
