When learning about game and being a man, oftentimes it’s easier to learn from what NOT to do, than always remembering what TO actually do.
Many students of mine greatly improved their game when they simply stopped getting in the way of themselves.
I’m an observant type of person and here are 10 of the bad habits that stand out to me the most that many men today are guilty of currently doing.
If you find yourself doing any of these, then simply STOP.
Your game will become much better… and you will stop getting in your own way on the path to progress and success.
#10. Saying ‘Umm’
If you don’t know what to say, then literally don’t say ANYTHING.
It’s easy to get in the bad habit of throwing an ‘um’ in your conversation, but what it is REALLY communicating to the girl you’re talking to…
is that you’re indecisive and are unsure of what you actually want to say.
#9. Apologizing
A growing trend among men that I’ve noticed is becoming quite prevalent, is constantly apologizing.
Twice in the last week I was walking down a sidewalk when a ‘man’ was approaching me.
Each time, each guy actually verbally apologized… for being in the way.
“I’m sorry, I’ll move”.
Really?
The sidewalk test is a great way to see if you’re perceived as the more dominate male.
Next time you walk down a sidewalk, see if others move for you (and apologize), or if they shoulder check you.
If you’re consistently getting pushed into the grass, or having to move on your own, then your physical presence is communicating… that you’re currently downright weak.
The exceptions are that I will move for old people and children. That’s it.
While I’m obviously passing the sidewalk test with flying colors, I don’t want you adopting this weak and pathetic behavior.
In addition, if you find yourself constantly apologizing to girls, then immediately STOP IT.
“I’m sorry, I’m running 5 minutes late, but I’ll be there soon!”.
No.
Just stop.
#8. Moving In The Bar/Club/Social Situations
This is another HUGE one that I constantly see.
Let’s say you’re standing at the bar waiting to order and there really is no room for anyone else on either side of you while you wait to order.
Why in the world would you move for a girl?
I’m seeing this trend of guys moving themselves out of line in order to let the girl and her friends barge in and order first.
Pathetic.
It forces her to actually ask for you to move when you’re concrete in your stance and gives you an opportunity to hold Frame.
Why cancel that out?
You don’t have to be a dick, but a simple “I’m ordering”, with good eye contact will make her quickly realize that you’re NOT a Beta Bitch Boy… who is going to change his plans so her life is easier.
If you feel guilty for reacting this way, then next time you need to order a drink, ask a girl to move out of line and see what happens.
Good luck.
The other night this exact situation happened to me and I told the girl, “Obviously I’m ordering”.
While I threw in a dash of dick, that’s simply who I am and it is what it is.
First off, she smarted back with a snarky comment…
“Well there are OTHER people in the bar!”
to which I replied calmly (as though you would address a child)…
“Obviously dear and they will each wait their respective turn”.
Her mouth dropped.
I laughed and turned back around to wait on my refreshing double vodka-tonic.
What happened next shocked me.
She tugged on my sleeve and I slowly turned my head to her.
“I’m sorry. That was rude of me.”
She apologized to me precisely BECAUSE I wasn’t weak.
Then she immediately offered me her phone number.
Gentlemen, when you stand your ground and act like a man, you might just be surprised at the outcome.
Women are craving men who can lead and NOT be walked all over.
Be that EXACT man.
#7. Slouching Like A Sloth
Whether sitting, or standing, I’m seeing many ‘men’ doing this as well.
While it’s also a sign of the times where many men feel beat down by life, it’s not the way of men who are making powerful moves in life.
Pull your shoulders back, don’t stick your neck out like a crane and adopt a powerful posture.
You’ll find men will show you more respect and women will give you bedroom eyes more.
#6. Using Straws In Your Drink
This drives me absolutely nuts.
Guys bending their heads down to their drinks, gently holding the straw with two delicate fingers and eagerly slurping their sugary alcoholic drink.
Throw the damn straw out.
It’s for women and gay dudes.
Enough already.
#5. Asking For Permission
Listen, people CAN’T read your mind.
They also generally are so caught up in their own life that they DON’T have time, nor the social skills to ask what YOU would like.
Stop asking for permission and just simply go… do it.
A perfect example, albeit a simple one, is you sitting in a restaurant eating some food and running out of ketchup.
The normal thing to do would be to ask the waitress.
Let’s say you do and the minutes tick by while your fries grow cold and she is nowhere to be seen.
The normal thing to do would be to patiently wait.
But you’re not ‘normal’.
Instead, spot that empty table with a ketchup bottle on it?
Yea, that one.
Stand up, walk over and simply grab it.
Then return to your seat and use it before your fries get cold.
That’s a basic ass example of what I’m talking about, but if you get where I’m coming from with it, then you get EXACTLY what I’m talking about.
Stop asking and instead start doing.
#4. Over Thanking
This is yet another bad habit that I’m seeing more of.
While you SHOULD be thankful and show appreciation when the time is right, I’m talking about for the basics.
In other words, if a girl agrees to go on a date with you and your text back is a ‘Thank You’, then it’s simply TOO MUCH.
Remember, she is lucky to be getting a date with you.
You are the prize.
Stop over thanking people for mundane shit.
Have a King Mentality and you can show your thanks in more subtle ways… that actually stand out more.
#3. Beta Bitch Boy Blabber Bullshitting
If you find yourself filling dead air with random nonsense with no point, then learn to close your mouth and scan the room.
One of the biggest mistakes I see newbies to game make, is thinking that they have to be talking non-stop.
While you DO want to drive the conversation and lead the interaction, that doesn’t necessarily mean verbally.
You can also lead physically.
The other day I was talking with some girls and I caught myself turning into a blabber mouth in order to fill the dead air.
I mentally checked myself and immediately shut the fuck up.
Have a point.
Make it.
And then immediately move on.
#2. Telling People Your Plans
This is a big one, because it’s natural to want to share with others, but a good strategist tends to only let on to those close to him, or those who have to know, about his plans.
Those plans could be life plans, business plans, or any kind of plans, but if you find yourself feeling like you need to let others know in order to pursue it, then you have a discipline problem.
I don’t know where the quote is from, but I saw this somewhere:
Don’t tell people your dreams. Show them.
That sums it up perfectly.
#1. Giving Up
If you’re reading this blog, then you are obviously a man who hasn’t given up, but look around you:
How many ‘men’ do you see who are literally giving up on women?
How many men are literally giving up on life?
How many men are throwing in the towel, because it’s “too hard in our culture right now”?
Tons. And it’s downright pitiful.
We need men right now more than ever who will stand up and lead.
Now is NOT the time to quit.
Now is the time to lead.
To build.
To create.
To succeed.
Will you become that man?
Until next time.
Your man,
-Elijah “The Realist”
