4 Harsh Realities Travel Nomads Need To Accept And Surmount

kA number of male writers, too numerous to name, have extoled the virtues of American and other men relocating to places like Eastern Europe and South America.

The cultures abroad are often actually cultures, not a mass of fearful, obsequious consumers, and the women are, on average, considerably more feminine and attractive than back home.

Nevertheless, many advocates of relocation are either blind to or choose to ignore the many issues a Western man will encounter moving overseas or traveling extensively in other countries.

Thankfully, Frauds and Liars has been quite frank about the pitfalls of travel or moving abroad.

I am genuinely excited about my future travels in South America and Europe, but my experiences so far have taught me that rosy expectations are regularly disappointed.

Just as you swallowed a red pill and continue to do so, you need to swallow these pieces of advice.

You need to learn the local language–and relatively fast

Sure, you’ll probably be fine in Prague or another more Westernized Eastern European city like Gdańsk (Poland).

But outside these areas and often within them, you are severely limiting your opportunities, most of all with girls, by not having a intermediate knowledge of the local language (B1 or B2 in the European common framework).

You need to make a choice between learning the language properly and getting by with English.

Half-hearted forays into learning the local tongue are mostly pointless and essentially the same as opting for English.

One will fast exhaust the basic number of permutations provided by restaurant-themed or “What’s your number?”-style sentences.

Do NOT be concerned about fluency.

Because I use a language like Spanish, Czech, Hungarian, or Polish for two to four months at a time and then stop for months, I make a number of minor mistakes all the time, especially with Slavic declensions.

But, all in all, I am considered reasonably fluent in Czech, Spanish, and Polish, in addition to some other European languages I speak.

If you have no time for learning the language, and some of you will definitely fall into this category, you need to have something…

Connections, regular social haunts, or something else substantial that can make up for your lack of speaking skills.

My advice to learn the language is NOT a religious one, yet 98% of the time better language skills will improve your experience and performance, including with girls.

Having money is not all it’s cracked up to be–and incites jealousy

My starter soup the other day in only a basic Slovakian restaurant cost more than the girl who served it earns in an hour.

My Peeks & Cloppenburg suit, just a temporary one I will end up leaving at a girl’s place in Europe for next time, cost the male sales attendant two weeks’ worth of salary.

To be blunt, there is a certain amount of local resentment at proportionally cashed-up Westerners living it up in Eastern Europe, chasing local women, and otherwise living lives far better and more luxurious than 97% of natives.

I’m NOT a frugal man, yet I am NOT interested in being ostentatious, either.

Still, having good levels of disposable income or simply a secure bank balance… can arouse jealousy and put a rift between YOU and the locals.

Because of the much lower wages, people in places like the Czech Republic and even more so in places like Romania choose cheap social entertainment.

Subsequently, the club scene even in tourist meccas like Kraków is lacking compared to Western cities like London.

Money may have it’s advantages, but for SOMEONE like me NOT willing to buy my way into people’s hearts, taking pleasure in the simpler things is undervalued by Western travelers.

To an extent… you need to THINK like a man who earns US$3-5 an hour.

You need to be prepared to go it alone

I initially took Topdeck and Globus tours when I traversed Europe.

Topdeck was mostly full of young Americans, Australians, and Canadians, while Globus fitted a middle-aged crowd and offered somewhat more structure.

Topdeck was great for communal activities with similarly aged Westerners, whilst Globus allowed me to explore cities in-depth and also slip off to meet local girls.

Eventually, though, you tire of this and desire a more long-term European experience, an experience which then creates its own set of problems.

At the time you branch off by yourself, expect to remain by yourself much of the time.

Of course, I meet lots of people on my travels and many of them I’ve known for quite a while.

But when I return to my base city, Bratislava or Brno, the trip is usually taken alone.

I can make new connections on a bus or plane, yet constancy in companionship is lacking.

It gives you more bangs but less of a community feel to anything you’re doing.

I’ve lost count of the number of great people I’ve meet, or girls I’ve gotten with, whom I will probably never see again.

Flaking, when it happens, is arguably more annoying when you’re traveling or living abroad.

If a girl flakes, often you’ll need to have a much stronger back-up plan than you would back home.

Unlike your university days, you can’t always hope to find another friend randomly hanging around.

Plus, in poor societies, it’s not just flaking that you need to be concerned with.

A lot of people do have things that require their attention for legitimate reasons, whether work, study, or something family-related.

It’s your job to have something (or someone) else to do when that occurs.

And it’s an ongoing job.

Let’s remember that most friendships are basically enforced.

We make friends in school, in college, or in the workplace, three places where we are mandated to spend time with the same people, or at least be reasonably close to them.

Over time, bonds develop and people forget the basically unsocial way they built up communication and trust.

True, a seasoned traveler is at something of an advantage because he can use the excitement of a vacation… to make more memorable friendships than people back home.

That is, until all your Western friends have to leave and promises of a reunion stretch out into months or years.

Meanwhile, in Bratislava or Brno, my native friends are seasonally consumed by realities I rarely have to face.

For example, if it’s company audit time for the brunette junior accountant I’m banging and she’s doing 16 hour days, I don’t expect to see her.

Likewise, you often fail to make the social connections locals would because you’re not sitting next to them in the same group of cubicles five days a week or cracking the same jokes by the water cooler.

For that reason, traveling or relocated men are better of enrolling in even the most boring night class (bar knitting classes), just to be around some of the same people regularly.

Your resolve and work ethic are constantly tested

In nine days recently I covered Debrecen, Bratislava, Prague, Wroclaw, and Poznan, all cities I know well.

As a result of the speed of my travel, I got close to zero done for my work commitments.

Twenty-five article ideas for Frauds and Liars have remained unfulfilled for months… and a promise to chew off at least two of them during these nine days came to nothing.

I got plenty of bangs, but also spent over 24 hours on intercity buses, and a good number of further dead hours on city buses, on subways, in taxis, and carpooling.

Leaving a hotel for meals in the city with girls or friends was great, yet took far longer than anticipated.

Once you get tired of banging a girl three times in two and a half hours, after a whole day of traveling between cities and/or sightseeing, there’s virtually nothing left for productive endeavors.

Good intentions will take you even smaller distances than in your native country.

Surrounded by in-your-face opportunities and a bevy of local beauties, your grad studies or, in my case, other writing work persistently falls by the wayside.

Time management is an even more crucial tool in your version of paradise… than in the monotony you call the United States, Canada, the UK, or Australia.

Are you ready for fun and commitment or just fun?

Travel is a commitment, NOT just fun.

In as much as you need a positive outlook and a desire for a better, more enjoyable life, you also have to regularly curb your enjoyment to keep that same life going.

Getting into a language-learning mode, modulating your spending tastes to fit in, managing or overcoming the solitary patches, and valuing your work time are unexciting..

But essential ingredients for any travel nomads out there.

The long-term benefits, whether with a fatter bank account balance or smoother communication, are palpable.

If you want the lifestyle, and many of you do, take my advice: get real and enter a world that you MUST consciously create and work towards.

Travel is great, but the ease with which YOU can do it is usually greatly overestimated.

Until next time.

Your man,

-Elijah “The Realist”