5 Reasons Why Chicago Is The Best City In America For Men

As my readers know, I recently relocated to Chicago…

After spending the better part of the past year hopping between various points in the Philippines and the U.S. 

While I’m not dumb enough to claim that the Windy City is paradise — what with it’s horrific metro system, wacky weather and war zone-level of bloodshed…

My experiences over the past year show that Chicago is amazingly underrated among major U.S. cities.

Here’s EXACTLY why…

1. The people are extremely nice (by city standards)

I don’t want to overstate the politeness of Chicago people:

if you want really nice, you’ll have to move out to the more rural parts of the Midwest or Mountain West states.

But if you’re used to big city people being various degrees of asshole — the helpful assholes of New York City, the fake-nice assholes of L.A., or the fuck-you-and-die assholes of Portland — the Windy City might just surprise you.

In contrast to other big American cities, Chicago retains a distinctly blue-collar character.

If you strut around like you’re better than everyone else, you’ll get slapped down hard, but if you act like a normal human being, people will show you the EXACT same respect.

For example, when I went to the Pitchfork Music Festival last year, I wore my Sonic Youth Goo T-shirt on the first day.

All the way down on the L (Chicago’s subway/metro system and back), people kept complimenting me on the shirt or asking what it was.

That would never happen in New York City.

2. Girls are sweeter and more approachable

Going hand-in-hand with the previous point, Chicago girls are more pleasant and feminine than girls in other major cities.

Mind you, we’re not talking Filipino-level feminine, but if you’re inured to big city girls being intolerable twats, Chicago will shatter your expectations.

It’s likely because of the relative niceness of the girls here that Chicago is massively underrepresented in the mano-sphere and neo-masculine world.

3. It’s inexpensive

Again, this is in comparison to other big cities:

There’s no doubt a pile of bum-fuck villages in flyover country where you can live more cheaply.

But on the cost of living index, Chicago blows New York and L.A. out of the water.

To give you an example, my friend pays $1,000 a month for a two bedroom apartment in Lincoln Park, one of the city’s most yuppified and expensive neighborhoods.

Try getting a 2 Bedroom in New York that isn’t either at least twice that cost or in the ghetto.

On the other metrics of living, Chicago also stacks up better than its similarly-sized counterparts.

Everything from groceries to nightlife is either cheaper or similarly priced to other big cities.

While the CTA has to be one of the worst major city transit agencies in America, the L, Metra, and buses still allow you to live without a car.

Even the tax situation, while not ideal, is better than in New York or California, and Illinois has the added bonus of a Republican governor to gum up the left’s works.

4. Concealed carry is legal here

It took years of litigation, but in 2013, Illinois finally joined the vast majority of states that allow citizens to exercise their Second Amendment rights by passing a concealed carry law.

Even better, Illinois is a “must-issue” state, meaning that unless you’ve committed a major felony, the state has no choice but to give you your permit provided you pass all the tests and pay all the fees.

That includes Cook County and Chicago.

While the Land of Lincoln’s concealed carry law is far from ideal — the fees are high, and Illinois lacks reciprocity agreements with other must-issue states — it’s a damn sight better than the arbitrary gun grabber regimes that rule most blue states.

Concealed carry has been such a huge success in Illinois that it resulted in “Chiraq’s” murder rate dropping for the first time in years.

5. Chicago is somewhat immune to SJW entryism

It’s easy to complain about the systemically corrupt nature of Chicago and Cook County government, but this corruption actually insulates the city from the worst excesses of leftism.

Chicago’s antiquated machine politics and “fuck you, pay me” mentality dissuade lunatic moral crusaders such as NYC’s Bill de Blasio from getting into power and imposing all sorts of insane SJW edicts.

In fact, the recent Chicago mayoral election featured a de Blasio-esque candidate who was swiftly curb-stomped by the electorate.

As much as Chicago kleptocracy can put a damper on my life, whether it’s the godawful transit system or the ripoff-level parking meters, it’s a price worth paying to keep the SJWs out.

In fact, I encourage every trustafarian Midwestern hipster crying about “man-spreading” to follow her dream of fronting an “art noise” duo and move to NYC or Portland.

Go far, far away from the “boring” Midwest and “scary” Chicago and never come back.

While I don’t plan on living in Chicago for the rest of my life, it’s a pretty good place for men to settle down.

As much as I may grumble about the obnoxiousness of the L or the fact that it’s 50 degrees out in May, I’d rather be here than anywhere else in the U.S.

Until next time.

Your man,

-Elijah “The Realist”