Unfortunately for me, the trip was worse than my previous European summer excursions to Hvar, Croatia, and Odessa.
Actually, it was worse than just about anywhere I’ve been in the past five years, even Riga, Copenhagen, and Washington DC.
If you’re considering a summer trip to Turkey, you need to keep the following in mind:
1. There are a lot of horny Turkish guys
In spite of any propagandic notion from the American media that Turkey is Westernizing, the sex roles remain nearly as strict and traditional since Ataturk’s time.
There is little casual sex or dating.
Instead of one-night stands you have six-month stands, where you commit before fornicating.
Turkish men are also not allowed to “pick up” Turkish girls because word may get back to their relatives, in which case they’d be shamed by their elders.
If a Turkish man doesn’t have a steady girlfriend with the intent to marry her, his dick is cleaner than the air in space.
Foreign girls are his best shot at getting laid at all, and the cheapest option for him is to take a bus to a Turkish resort and go full retard on foreign girls.
These men want it way more than you.
2. There are not a lot of Turkish girls to meet
Most are with their families or boyfriends, and the ones you see at night tend to be older than 30 (Turkish spinsters, I imagine).
Your best shot at approaching younger Turkish girls in Alanya is during the day, when they are allowed by their parental units to take short trips to the store, but since she is lodging with her family, you have small odds at isolating her at night.
Younger girls in clubs are heavily guarded by male friends and relatives (one night I was threatened by a Turkish guy in Turkish when I approached a Turkish girl).
As long as these guardians are around, she won’t entertain your approach.
3. It’s incredibly hot and humid
The temperature during the day reaches over 95.
You won’t want to do much besides sit under the air conditioner or go in the water, but even the latter provides little relief.
I began to think it was a bit silly to pay a lot of money to bake underneath a sun that prevents you from enjoying whatever activity you end up doing.
I can understand why the Scandinavians do it, since their winter lasts eleven or so months a year, but I’m not exactly hurting for sun.
4. Most of the foreign girls are Swedish fatties
I think I’ve done a poor job killing the false stereotype that Swedish girls are blonde bombshells.
While their genetics are pristine, modern Swedish girls look like tattooed burritos.
The most beautiful girl in the world is probably Swedish, but her more numerous variant — the chubby Swedish girl with burly shoulders and a rectangle face — disgraces her ancestral line.
Nonetheless, you’ll never see a Turkish man pass on a Swedish girl, no matter how grotesque and vile.
That makes me wonder if Turkey is a backup plan for white women who can’t compete in their own lands.
5. The most beautiful girls are Russian, but they are rarely accessible
They tend to vacation through package deals that put them in all-inclusive resorts far from the center.
Most of them travel with their boyfriends and families, though once in a while you can catch a pair of above-average Russian girls in the club until the hotel bus driver comes to fetch them when you’re only halfway through your seduction.
I’ve heard second-hand stories of Russian girls going crazy on vacation, but I’ve yet to see this.
And get this: many Turkish guys speak Russian.
Nothing stops them from getting at girls of different nationalities.
I’m convinced they study Swedish, Russian, and English in the off-season when they have to power down their penis for the winter months.
6. The best chance at meeting girls is from your hotel
My first two nights out I couldn’t find many opportunities on decent girls.
I spent some afternoons at the pool and had far better interactions, but quality was still a problem.
If I were to do it all over again, I would just book a room in the largest resort around, even if it’s far from the center, and just game all day in the pool.
7. Turkish men can be charming, fun, and warm
These guys have great rapport game in that you feel comfortable with them quickly.
Funny thing is that I thought my mom was just hating on me when I was teenager by saying I was “cold” like my dad, but she’s absolutely right — compared to the average Turkish man I’m robotic and boring.
This is probably why I passed on South America to live in Eastern Europe, where people better match my demeanor.
8. Alcoholic drinks are unreasonably expensive
The going rate for a vodka on the rocks in most nightclubs is $10 US.
If you’re Turkish, however, you get a lower rate from a secret menu that tourists don’t have access to.
You can probably also skip out on some club cover charges while tourists can’t.
9. It’s as touristy as they come
The locals see you as a wallet, in spite of their smiles and physical affection.
The Turks have optimized their tourism game to extract money from you in the most efficient way possible.
Besides the five times daily call for prayer and a million kebab shops, there isn’t much room left for authentic Turkish culture.
Conclusion
I took this trip while I was living in Odessa.
I went from a place with extremely high talent to one that had little.
I had not much choice but to use this trip more as an opportunity to relax, practice making podcast episodes, and meditate on how insanely lucky I am to live in Eastern Europe where the women enjoy my company, are exceedingly pretty, and are often open to making sexual communion with me.
I can only recommend Turkey to average women who want to feel pretty and couples who want a romantic getaway.
Unless you find a secret resort hotel or spot where you know the pickings will be good, you take a huge risk by going here in the summer.
Until next time.
Your man,
-Elijah “The Realist”
