I’ve been to every country in South America except for the three that no one ever goes to (Suriname, French Guiana, and Guyana).
From my 17 months of experience there, these are the four trips I’m recommending if you only have time for a two-week vacation…
The Newbie Trip (Argentina)
Itinerary: 7 days in Buenos Aires and 7 days in Cordoba
Why You Should Go: The country is relatively safe and has lots of sights, making it a great place to break your South American cherry.
Most importantly, it has women that will wow you, especially if you’re coming from the United States.
Tourist infrastructure is well-developed and easy to use, though beginner Spanish will make your trip more enjoyable.
Why You Shouldn’t Go: There’s a high chance you won’t get laid.
The Easy Grenades & Old Rocks Trip (Peru)
Itinerary: 7 days in Lima and 7 days in Cuzco, the launching point for Machu Picchu
Why You Should Go: It’s cheap as hell, the archaeological sites will keep you busy, and Peruvian women think the white man is attractive, making it an ideal trip for game beginners to get their feet wet with flagging (as long as they’re not too picky).
Why You Shouldn’t Go: Women are generally ugly and you’ll probably get a foodborne illness.
Fun In The Sun Trip (Brazil)
Itinerary: 7 days in Rio de Janeiro and 7 days in Florianopolis
Why You Should Go: Assuming you visit during our winter (December-March), you’ll enjoy nice beaches while trying to bang sexy women.
Brazilian culture is by far the most exciting and colorful in South America.
Why You Shouldn’t Go: It’s expensive and the women are becoming increasingly snobby.
Practice Your Social Skills (Colombia)
Itinerary: 7 days in Bogotá and 7 days in Medellin
Why You Should Go: Colombia is made for street approaching, particularly during the day.
Why You Shouldn’t Go: Girls are flakey and don’t speak much English.
Conversational Spanish is somewhat required.
South America is a huge continent and offers dozens of additional cities that are worth a visit, but I believe the above four itineraries are best for guys who don’t have much travel experience.
Until next time.
Your man,
-Elijah “The Realist”
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