I’ve slightly softened my response to this question over the years.
While I still maintain the position that you shouldn’t buy a drink for a girl unless you’ve already kissed her, getting asked this before that isn’t entirely bad because if she was completely unattracted to you, she wouldn’t even ask.
It usually means she has neutral feelings but still wouldn’t mind talking to you for another few minutes.
This question is a great opportunity to inject game to turn that lukewarm interest into something stronger.
An example of how I recently reacted to this question happened with an early-20s something Danish girl in a Copenhagen bar.
“Why don’t you buy me a drink?” she asked.
“Sure,” I said.
“I’ll buy you anything you want.”
I smiled at her and made no move towards the bar.
Then I said, “Do guys usually buy you drinks?”
“Yeah they do.”
“And why do you think they do that?”
“Because they’re nice!”
“No, they buy you drinks because they want to have sex with you.”
“They think that every drink they buy will put them closer to getting you into bed, but of course it doesn’t.”
“The problem if I buy you a drink right now is I’m not going to respect you, and then I’m not going to respect myself.”
“If we were on a date it’d be different, but we’re not.”
She looked at me with her mouth agape but I remained silent, letting things simmer for a minute.
Then I ordered another scotch and said, “But you can have a sip of my drink.”
She accepted, but of course didn’t like the taste.
She looked at me and said “I think I like you.”
For cold Scandinavian chicks that’s like dropping a nuclear flirt bomb.
Then we went to a booth away from her sister and kissed.
My response worked because it was a good mixture of hot and cold, where I refused to play by her rules but left the door open for a connection to develop by hinting that I’m capable of human warmth.
Instead of memorizing what I said, it’d be better to work on the beliefs that helped borne this reaction.
What principles can you adopt so that when a woman tests you, you correctly respond on-the-fly without having to recite anything like a spelling bee contestant?
I say you should believe no woman deserve gifts or favors unless she does something for you first.
That they are expendable and in surplus supply.
That respect is earned, and that if things don’t go well with this one, if she doesn’t bend to your will, then in a few minutes another will come along.
Believe that anything you do for a woman must be on your terms and on your timetable, never on hers, and that you don’t give a fuck either way if she ends up liking you or not, but if she does there will be an exchange of fun times and fluids.
Believe in those things, and even though your response to the same situation will be completely different than mine, it will still be correct.
Until next time.
Your man,
-Elijah “The Realist”
