When you first meet a girl, it’s safe to suggest ideas for future dates based on things you have in common.
But once you start dating her, you have to be very careful about throwing ideas for more dates that could be considered trips, like a visit to Atlantic City, the beach, or some full-day excursion to a national park.
This conveys heavy-duty interest and forces her to evaluate her power.
I’ve made this mistake twice.
I thought things were going great, threw out a trip idea to the beach, and then watched the girl go cold on me.
A somewhat recent example involved a very young girl who was attracted to me
She’d call or text me every day, sometimes asking if I missed her or telling me how much she was thinking about me.
I relaxed my game and contacted her often too, slightly relieved that I didn’t have to play as hard as I normally do (but of course I didn’t get mushy on her).
Eventually I suggested a weekend trip to the beach.
It’s not so much that I really wanted to go to the beach and that it’d be important for us, but it was a way to keep up with her and maintain the exciting momentum.
She replied with “I don’t know,” and flaked on me the next date.
The upper hand I did so well to maintain was lost in just a few words.
I was disappointed with myself.
The proper move is to wait for her to suggest a trip first.
Then when she does, say, “Maybe we can do that.”
I already knew this, but there are times I get cocky and feel like I have enough experience to take a risk and break the rules.
Sometimes it works out in my favor, but other times it doesn’t and I have to relearn something I already mastered.
Experimentation is a double-edged sword best meant for girls you don’t care about keeping around for more than a couple bangs.
I don’t recommend you throw out trip (or even date) ideas after you already have sex with a girl.
Whenever a girl suggests a trip to me, I think, “Cool she really likes me.”
Don’t let her have that thought instead.
Make her wonder if you see her as more than just a bang.
Let her reveal her cards first in an attempt to get a look at yours.
Being aloof and slightly cold pays off a lot more than showing you care.
Until next time.
Your man,
-Elijah “The Realist”
