I’ve had a lot of sex.
Some good, some bad and some completely mind-blowing.
I’ve had sex with 350+ girls in my life (I’m 30).
I don’t say this to brag, I say this to preface this comprehensive guide with actual experience.
When you’ve had sex with hundreds of women… you start to figure out what works and what doesn’t.
Here is the most comprehensive free guide to having great sex on the web. Hell, period.
Take your time with this post, because it’s a monster of a motherfucking’ post and enjoy using these tips this weekend.
The Mindset
Great sex starts before you slip off her bra, before you insert your cock into her vagina and actually starts BEFORE you even approach her.
That’s because great sex starts with YOUR mindset.
If you think poorly about yourself, then you will radiate this vibe in a 30 foot radius to every girl (or guy) you encounter on a night out.
Developing a proper mindset is absolutely essential and I will go into this in more detail in the near future, but for now, you have got to get a grip on your mindset.
If you think you’re worthless, you will live a worthless life.
If you think that you’re inadequate for pretty girls, then you will only date and have sex with girls who are unattractive to you.
If you are solely concentrated on your cock size (and any insecurities that you might have) you will NEVER be able to truly have great sex, because you will be in your MIND, instead of the MOMENT.
Another note regarding this:
With the amount of sexual partners that girls have nowadays… you are NOT her biggest and you are NOT her smallest, but it doesn’t matter because the actual EXPERIENCE she has when with you is what keeps her coming back.
Focus on what you CAN control and you will be at peace with this.
There are two mindsets that you must adopt to gather the reins of your mind and take control:
1. I will rock her world
2. Sex with me is a privilege
These two thoughts coincide to create a mindset of sexual confidence.
Through actual application (sex) you will develop prowess.
The more practice you put in, the more BETTER you will eventually get.
If you’re a virgin reading this and you feel scared, then allow me to reach through the screen and virtually bitch slap you.
Everyone was a virgin at some point and before I fucked hundreds of girls, I obviously was a virgin as well.
It’s okay to feel nervous, but the only way to alleviate these feelings is to learn game and have sex.
The best way to adopt these two thoughts and create a new mindset is simply to think them and say them out-loud repeatedly every single day.
The second part is actually putting them into use.
You can sit and stare at the wall everyday muttering these phrases and NEVER approach girls and you will remain sexless.
Combine thinking and saying these statements with conviction AND approaching girls, going on dates and sexually escalating and you will see the difference.
The Approach
In this section, I’m not covering the actual approach, but instead the main aspects that will get the sexual energy flowing before you even actually have sex with her.
Have you ever heard a girl say, “Such and such is so sexy!” (and the guy is NOT physically attractive).
That’s because he exudes sexuality.
Looks and sexiness are too completely different things.
While a person can be physically attractive, they can also have the sexual energy of a rock.
If you have looks and sexual energy then you’re golden.
But if you’re NOT the best looking guy, you can still become sexy… by channeling sex into your vibe, swagger and style.
This post isn’t about style, but the sharper you dress, the higher you amp up your perceived sexual value.
Simple example is this:
Joe Blow walks into the club wearing a wrinkled button down, jeans that are tattered at the cuffs and a hemp necklace.
Yes, Joe is still stuck in the fucking 90’s.
Girls instantly turn their back on him and whisper “What a creep!” to their friends.
Joe Blow reads this blog, applies the vast knowledge, improves his life and returns to the club.
Now he is Joe Smooth.
He walks into the club rocking a tailored suit and a modern haircut, but most importantly, his BODY LANGUAGE is confident and screams alpha male.
His physical movements are measured and deliberate.
He scans the room slowly like a lion surveying his prey for a late night meal.
He utilizes strong eye contact to establish himself as someone NOT to fuck with (to other males) and as a proper sexual option to the females.
Girls instantly start eye-fucking him and nervously giggling to their friends, “Who’s THAT sexy guy in the suit??”
Now which version of Joe is more apt to get laid?
I’ve touched on this before, but the key to kick-starting your sexual energy during an approach is to actually imagine undressing her as you speak to her.
She will feel this.
Your sexual energy will exude.
You’re not doing this in a leering manner, but instead ‘sending’ your words with sexual intent even if the actual words are NOT sexual in nature.
Here’s an example:
You’re talking with a girl and she comments on your pocket square.
Girl: “I love your pocket square. I wish more guys would dress up”
You: “It’s difficult for boys to be men”
What you’re saying is NOT sexual in nature, but here’s what you’re THINKING when you’re saying this: I’m going to wrap your legs around my body and give you such an intense orgasm your body shakes.
At the same time that you’re THINKING this, you actually IMAGINE the two of you naked doing this.
Your thoughts will come through in your eyes, thus making an ‘innocent’ statement (“It’s difficult for boys to be men”) sexualized in a dominating manner which will immediately turn her on.
This is exactly how you can be posted up at a club and see a playboy approach a girl, talk to her for a couple of minutes and then walk out holding her hand.
It’s that powerful.
Now, note that this all takes practice.
The more you do it, the more seamless it will eventually become.
Start practicing now.
The Physical
Now for the fun part, the actual sex.
There are 5 main components to the actual physical aspect of having great sex and here they are:
#5. Confidence
Sure, it might be hard to be confident if you’re not sexually experienced, but the very simple way to navigate around this obstacle is this:
1. She’s naked with you.
She is attracted enough to you… to have gotten naked… and open up… her most intimate body part to you.
That tells you EVERYTHING.
2. Be in the moment.
I will write more about this later in the article, but you really have to let go of wondering if you’re the best she’s had, wondering if she’ll like the sex enough to see you again, and casting off the pressure of performing.
It’s easy as guys to get caught up in wanting to be her best sexual partner, but brother let me tell you, that is a burden that is one that I frequently say “Fuck you” to.
The best way you can ‘perform’ is to ravish her with passion, dominance and confidence.
#4. Lose Yourself In The Moment
You can’t have great sex when your mind is wandering about EVERYTHING but what you’re actually doing.
It’s similar to how a girl can’t have an orgasm… if she’s in her mind and isn’t relaxed.
The more relaxed you are, the more she will be.
The more you take her in, her scent, her body and her mind, then she will relax and melt.
The real question is, if you find yourself thinking about other shit while you’re having sex with her, then you obviously are NOT attracted to her enough.
I can tell you that the attraction level makes a difference.
I’ve had sex with some girls, where the movie playing on the TV is more interesting than her.
I’ve also had sex with girls where I could have died inside them and been happy because their beauty was so staggering to me.
Let go, relax and just be.
#3. Blowing Her Mind
While I’ve covered this in this article and this one as well, here are some more tips for EXACTLY how to do this.
-Create sexual tension.
I touched on this as well here, but the easy way to think about this is as Push-Pull.
The push would be you taking her shirt off.
The pull would be not taking her bra off immediately.
99.9% of guys will take the girls bra off first and then go to town sucking on her breasts, but the G way to handle this is to lightly breathe on her breasts (while her bra is still on) and remove her panties BEFORE taking her bra off.
Hell, you can even start to fuck her while she’s wearing her bra, then take it off after a couple of minutes.
-Another way to do this, is DON’T be predictable.
Sex in the kitchen?
Sure.
Sex in the bathroom?
Of course.
Don’t be the guy who always defaults to having to fuck on the bed.
It’s lame.
Unpredictability is paramount to making it ‘hot’ and ‘heavy’.
-Get in her mind.
Here’s an example of how this works:
You have her sitting on your kitchen counter facing you with her legs open and you’re inside her.
Pause your thrusting and gently trace her lips with your finger, while staring into her eyes, then say something like this:
“You’re sexy as hell” (then kiss her passionately)
Read closely, because I’m about to drop a knowledge ‘bomb’:
Great sex comes from creating an Emotional Bubble.
Anybody can have sex, but when you combine the physical act of sex with connecting to her emotionally through what you say (and what you DON’T say)… then you have sexual fireworks.
There’s a reason why women love the book 50 Shades of Grey which is a damn BOOK. i.e. it’s words, not pictures.
Learn to turn a girl on verbally and she will be putty in your hands.
#2.The Pursuit of Pleasure
Your pleasure.
If you’re focused on trying to make her orgasm for hours… you’ll miss the point.
A woman likes to have orgasms sure, but here’s the deal:
Most women don’t even have orgasms through actual penetration, so you’re more than likely wasting your time.
“Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse.”
Instead, focus on your pleasure and ‘using’ her for your pleasure.
You will find that she will be more into that, then you down on your knees eating her out for 30 minutes to no avail.
Now this doesn’t mean you can’t try to make her cum, but keep it in perspective.
A feminine woman who is biologically attracted to an alpha male, will get great pleasure out of PROVIDING him pleasure.
For you experienced playboys out there, ever notice how a girl will get on her knees to give you head and the look in her eyes is pure pleasure?
Now maybe she loves gobbling on cocks, but what she really is feeling, is pleasure from providing you pleasure and being ‘slutty’ for you.
This is a fucking fact.
Next time a girl gives you head look into her eyes and tell me you don’t see it.
#1. Fucking Like It’s Your Last Time Ever
If I told you that the next time you have sex, you’ll be forced into celibacy forever, I’ll bet you would ravage her with passion and pleasure for the BOTH of you.
Next time you’re having sex (the imagination is very powerful), imagine it’s the last time you will ever have sex again.
I can guarantee that you will enjoy the moment and it will be incredible sex.
And not to be morbid, but we’re not guaranteed tomorrow and it very well could be.
Until next time.
Your man,
-Elijah “The Realist”